Nothing

~ another poem, not as good as the other one

In darkness I lay

Awaiting dismay

In world imperfected

Completely infected

Submerging in death

To one's last breath

I travel the lands

Seeing earth's blands

Nothing satisfies

Nothing gratifies

Let my eyes shut

Let the wounds cut

Bleed all over

This loveless lover

Stiffened bones brake

Red muscles ache

Everything dies

No secrets nor lies

Will escape true ties

None worth living

No life worth giving

Dark rest takes hold

Let me rest, let me go.

Identiy

~ short post on Identity

            Identity is the very being of ourselves in which our existence and purpose can be expounded upon.  It is "made up of the interlocking features that mark how we behave and respond to others"(Stewart, 2009, p. 84).  However, this view exemplifies only the Western pretense of identity where it starts from the individual and extends into the collective of society.  Many different perspectives of how communication forms identity need to be given merit as well.

            First, rhetorical imperative presents the stand those strategies of communication come from an individual's need to affect other favorable (p. 94).  This theory shows that people will communicate in a fashion that will gain the approval of the majority of people by acting and speaking in a way pleasing to others from their own perspective.  They can give an individual accomplishment and eloquence, but if a person cannot connect with the needs of other, they will become an outcast.

            Second, there’s an interesting theory which groups eight strategic ideas of communication according to Harold Barret (p. 100).  These eight communication goals are control, achievement, attribution, anger, denial, withdrawal, and prevarication. These strategies simplify the human response to social interactions.  When someone uses one of these reasons to communicate, they will be associated with that method in other people's minds.  When someone communicates with anger as a strategy, they will be defined by that method and will be considered angry. 

             Third, another form of communication is through online identity (p. 115).  The internet is a great tool for communication; however, people can create false information about themselves disguising themselves as someone more desirable.  People can use it to gain trust and then take advantage of other, while others use the internet to escape reality and can have others believe in that reality.

            Over the generations, identity has gone through changes.  Whether it is from individual to collective or defending to pleasing, transitions of styles and motives will always occur as cultures continue to evolve on the earth.  As long as people communicate with an open mind, the world will see good times ahead.

Stewart, J. (2009). Bridges not walls: A book about interpersonal communication. New York, NY: McGraw Hill Companies, Inc.

VCC

  ~ this was an assignment for a counseling done in 2011            

             E. Worthington (2005) delves into nine areas of marriage.  All of them are key components in a successful marriage, but one can postulate that there are three that are the most important.  The first one would be core vision of marriage.  This entails the concepts of actual marriage, true marriage, and ideal marriage that the couples hold on to (p. 61).  This idea encompasses what each partner expects from the other in terms of how marriage works.  When a couple is suffering, this is usually what creates the dividing line, because both partners focus on the negative aspects of their relationship and think that there is nothing more in the relationship that is beneficial.   A crucial step in counseling is for the couple to change their core vision unto the more positive aspects and how they can love each other more effectively.  Without this change, the other steps cannot be fully reached.

            The second step that is important is communication.  Communication is how a relationship grows and thrives throughout its course.  It is an exchange of physical, mental, and emotional troubles and praises that each partner shares with each other.  A marriage represents a unique bond that two people have and thus should be nurtured and complemented by a healthy flow of communication which can heal the heart, soul, and mind of both individuals.  Trouble can arise when unintentional meanings are communicated or when marital power seems to be the center of communication (p. 65).   Couples either cannot talk to each other, or resort to aggressive berating arguments which led to damaged souls and hearts.  They start to resent being with each other, growing tired of the rift, but are afraid to be the first to discuss their feelings for fear of being seen as the one who gives in.  They wear each other down with tense negative feelings.  The counselor's duty is to bridge these communications as a third party and emphasizes the aspect of love in communication.  Love is what trumps the pride and anger in communication.

            The third important step is commitment to marriage.  Commitment within a relationship is a continual force that binds two people together.  It is what makes the couple more bound and separate from other relationships.  There are two types of commitments that Worthington (2005) discusses:  covenant and contract.  Covenant refers to a more traditional and Christian in origin.  It implies that the two people are of one flesh and have placed their honor and identity in each other (p. 70).  Contract, which has become the more modern view, implies strong ties and exclusivity between partners.  It is not based on duration, but a commitment at the present.  It lasts as long as each person fulfills their obligations in the relationship.  Regardless of the idea of commitment, it is a crucial and binding force in the relationship.   Commitment is what keeps the relationship alive even after the counseling sessions are complete.  It is the conclusive and deciding factor that keeps the scales of a relationship balanced. 

Reference

Worthington, E.  (2005). Hope focused marriage counseling: A guide to brief therapy

            Downers Grove, IL: Inter-Varsity Press.

Life Thought

~just something I wrote down for fun

The lesson of pain

Is nothing but a strain

The line of life and death

Grows thinner and thinner with every breath

The lies of truth that we seek

Uncovers only a peek

When we ourselves unfold

Our own blindness we behold

The life of a vapor is short

So is the existence of every sort

Of every man, beast, and thing

All vanishes into nothing

Death, such a sweet release

To find a lasting peace

From all the torments of the soul

To live and die, the only goal 

Emptiness and futility

Synonyms for existing

Noisy sounds and broken words

Are like useless shattered swords

The battle to be heard

Never won when deterred

Take the soul from this shell

So to end this miserable hell